Today’s kids and teens' biggest “firsts” aren’t just happening on playgrounds or at prom anymore. Alongside more traditional rites of passage, there are many modern digital rites of passage. The first phone. The first social media profile. The first time your child says, “Everyone’s on this app, I have to be there too!”
These moments tend to sneak up on parents. One day, your kid is asking for a device to text friends, and the next, they’re navigating online drama and adult content you weren’t prepared to explain yet. Understanding these digital rites of passage helps parents stay one step ahead and guide kids through an online world that moves fast and doesn’t come with a manual. Below, we outline some of today’s common digital rites of passage, how to discuss them with your child, and how Bark can help.
The Very First Device
Getting a first phone or tablet is often the biggest — and most crucial — digital turning point. It brings independence, constant communication, and, depending on the phone type, access to the internet, social media apps, and beyond. Research from the Pew Research Center reveals that kids often get their first smartphones in late elementary or middle school. As more of your child’s friend group gets phones, the harder it can be to put off your child’s first device. Regardless of the age your child gets their first device, open communication and boundary setting can set the tone for the rest of their relationship with digital devices.
The First Group Chat
Once kids have a device, group chats usually follow, and fast. These chats can be fun and social, but they also introduce message overload, misunderstandings, and pressure to respond at all times. The American Psychological Association points out that because kids are still developing impulse control and emotional regulation, fast-moving digital conversations can quickly escalate. Talking with your child about how to handle, step away from, or bring group chat concerns to a parent can make them all the more manageable.
The First Social Media Account
Whether it’s TikTok, Instagram, Snapchat, or something else, social media plays a huge role in how kids see themselves and each other. Suddenly, they’re navigating likes, comments, and constant comparison at a stage of life when they’re already especially sensitive to how they’re perceived. The Pew Research Center reports that many teens say social media affects how they feel about themselves, while the American Psychological Association has come out directly with an advisory about how social media affects teens' mental health. While each platform comes with its own mix of connection and risk, parents can help ease social media–related anxiety by understanding what’s driving it and offering steady reassurance.
The First Online Friendship
Online friendships are now a normal part of growing up, especially through games, shared interests, and fandoms. These connections can be positive and meaningful, but they also require conversations about boundaries, privacy, and trust. It’s important to talk to your child about what a healthy online friendship looks like, the importance of consent, and how to speak up if an interaction feels uncomfortable.
The First Viral Moment (Big or Small)
“Going viral” doesn’t always mean millions of views. For kids, it might be a post spreading through school or a video getting more attention than expected. These moments introduce real-time feedback loops — excitement, embarrassment, pressure, or comparison — and can feel intense for kids whose sense of identity is still forming, according to research on adolescent brain development from the National Institute of Mental Health. Hoping to help your child filter through fake or real viral content? Check out these five ways to teach critical thinking skills in today’s digital world.
The First Encounter with Harmful Content
Most kids will eventually come across online content that’s confusing, upsetting, or developmentally inappropriate. That can include violent imagery, sexual content, self-harm themes, and even misleading AI-generated material. The American Academy of Pediatrics reports that 15% of kids first see pornography before age 11, and between 20% and 38% of kids ages 11 to 17 say they’ve encountered it online in the past year. Rather than reacting with punishment, experts stress that open, ongoing communication is what matters most. Get ahead of the curve by learning how to start the conversation when your child first encounters explicit images and what to do when they see violent content online.
The First Online Conflict or Bullying
About 26.5% of American teens reported being cyberbullied in the past year, a number that’s been climbing as digital interaction grows, Bright Path Adolescent Mental Health reports. Conflicts that once ended when the school day was over now often play out in group chats, comment sections, and screenshots, making them harder to escape and more emotionally intense. The key to staying ahead of cyberbullying? Talk with your child frequently about what cyberbullying looks like, how to report cyberbullying to an adult, and why it’s important to lead with kindness online and beyond.
How Bark Can Help
As kids hit new digital milestones, they naturally start managing more on their own — joining new platforms or downloading apps — without always looping parents in. These moments are a normal part of growing independence, but they don’t have to mean going completely hands-off. Bark helps parents stay gently involved by flagging potential issues while still giving kids room to explore. Think of it as a safety net during key digital rites of passage. Explore Bark’s tools to find what works best for your family.
Bark helps families manage and protect their children’s digital lives.
