How Do I Prevent a Tech Free-For-All This Summer?

Dear Titania,

School lets out in a few short weeks, and I’m already worried that this summer will be a free-for-all like last year. My kids fell out of their routines quickly, andI lost complete control over tablet, phone, and video game time. It seemed like all they did from June until August was hang out inside watching YouTube videos and playing Fortnite. Nothing bad happened, but I’d like to go into this summer with a plan and more structured rules, while still letting my kids blow off steam from the school year and have fun. Any ideas for how to do that?

Signed,

Super Stressed About Summer Already

Dear Super Stressed About Summer Already,

First, you are definitely not alone — every year, millions of parents scramble to figure out what they’re going to do with their kids each summer. Personally, I've had the exact same summer you’ve described, complete with piles of popsicle sticks all over the house and the occasional “What day is it?” moment by mid-July. It can feel less like kids are living (and thriving) with you and more like you have nocturnal roommates that leave a neverending trail of sodas and granola bar wrappers in every room. 

But there is hope! Living in the digital age has created some of our current issues (so many screens, so many apps) but it also provides a few solutions (parental controls that actually work, educational content, etc). I’ve gathered some of those in this post, and I’ll also give you some more creative ideas I’ve learned from parents all over the country. So turn on the AC, pour yourself a fizzy water on ice, and let’s do this. 

Get Creative with Screen Time Rules

We’re going straight for the jugular with this one: Figure out a way to make your child earn their screen time. Here are just a few of the ways I’ve seen parents figure out how to decide how much actual time their kids get during the summer:

• One minute outside = one minute of iPad time.
• No screen time before chores are done (make sure it’s not just a quick “sweep the kitchen” that can be done in 3 minutes).
• Tie screen time to the number of pages your kid reads in a book.
• Make rules around social media or fluff, but give unlimited educational screen time for informative videos or coding games.
• Tie screen time to weather, like unlimited iPad time when it’s raining or too hot in the early afternoon — then switch to an outdoor activity or game.

The key with these rules is to be clear, consistent, and make sure they work with your family’s vibe. It will also take work, so make sure you have the time and energy to enforce them. That’s one thing I see a lot of parents do when it comes to summer rules — they come in hot in June and by August they’ve let everything fly right out the window. 

This is natural, of course, as we’re all just human. But sticking to sustainable rules you know both you and your kids can handle is key to making it all the way to the first day of school. 

Try and Keep Them Busy

If your family has the financial resources or the ability to have one person oversee daily activities, one tried-and-true method is to make sure your children have plenty of screen-free options. We’re talking board games, paint sets, outdoor toys — you name it. 

This can also look like various day camps (or the holy grail of summer activities for kids, sleepaway camp!) and themed one-week camps that focus on your child’s interests like STEM, Legos, music, and sports.

If camp’s not in the cards this year, having one parent stay home or hiring a sitter can allow you to give your kids a supervised experience that guides them into more productive activities than just watching Instagram reels — think trips to the local park, setting up scavenger hunts, and cooking fun things together.

This approach is definitely the hardest, though, because it turns that person into basically a cruise director for tweens, and it can be a struggle keeping kids motivated in the house knowing that the Xbox is just a few short feet away.

But Also Encourage Boredom, Too

I know, I know,  I just said try and keep them busy. But letting your kids occasionally sit with boredom — without rescuing them with a screen —  is SO important to their development (despite what they may say). 

When kids get bored, they can start using their imaginations again, whether it’s building a living room fort, pulling out that box of legos again, or discovering that box of old-school records your spouse keeps in the basement. 

You don’t have to have every moment scheduled as long as you have some crayons, paper, toys, books, music, playdates, and maybe a sprinkler. This summer can be epic without overspending or placing the sole burden of summer child event management on your already-full plate.

Make Sure You’re in Control of Devices If You Want Limits

When I hear about parents giving in and letting summer become a tech free-for-all, that means that they’ve physically given up control of the devices — whether by letting kids have them at all times or by not putting in place any digital parental controls.

If you’re going to stay the course and keep limits in place, you’ll have to do one or the other (but preferably both!). 

Use Bark to set screen time schedules on your child’s devices so they’re not constantly scrolling day in and day out. This can look like only allowing educational games for certain periods, or blocking the web browsers from 11 p.m. to  7 a.m. (this bedtime should absolutely be in place year-round, in my opinion). 

But for the most protective option, I’d recommend still taking up your kids’ devices at bedtime, or charging them in the kitchen. Even though it’s summer, kids still need good rest. And if they want to stay up late, they can watch old-school movies and reruns in the wee hours like we used to do. 

Let Them Loose — Within Reason

Everyone laments the fact that kids don’t go out and roam anymore, but to be fair, our generation cares deeply about children’s safety, which is a good thing. That doesn’t mean that kids can’t hang out with friends, take trips to the local park, or other fun activities, though. And the good thing about tech is that location tracking is absolutely one of the best inventions to happen to families in the modern age. 

With the Bark Phone or Bark Watch, you can effortlessly check in on your kid while you’re at work or the store, knowing that they’re exactly where they need to be — and that you can get directions to their location in just a few seconds. 

Final Thoughts

You’re doing a great job by even thinking about this so early  — it’s clear that you really care about your kids and want them to have a fun, productive, and also safe summer. 

Summer is a hard-earned break for kids, and it’s a magical time of year when you’re young. But remind them that summer isn’t something that’s viewed on a screen and it doesn’t have to have  every hour planned for them. It’s experienced outside in the heat, playing with friends, and making memories of real-life activities.