Bark’s Guide for Families Affected by Sextortion

If your child has been a victim of sextortion, we’re so sorry that you’re going through this stressful and scary time. The U.S. Department of Justice estimates that rates of this devastating crime have quintupled in the last five years, making it far more common than many people realize. 

But please know this: You’re not alone. Many families have faced this same issue, and there is help available. You can get through this, and you can help your child heal. In this post, we’ve gathered resources and info to help you navigate through everything to come out on the other side with more agency and resolve.

What to Do Immediately

Reassure your child they are not to blame

Let your kid know that they’re not to blame. The person who did this is the only one responsible — full stop. Thank your child for coming to you, as it takes bravery to speak up, especially when they’re scared or ashamed. Kids make mistakes, and the criminals who engage in sextortion are manipulators.

Stop all communication with the perpetrator

Block the criminal on every platform, and don’t reply to any messages or demands. Change all usernames, display names, and profile pictures. You may also want to deactivate accounts for a couple of weeks to prevent re-contact.

Save all evidence like screenshots and messages

Collect everything that’s happened with your child and the criminal, from email and texts to DMs and Venmo requests. Going all the way back to the beginning of the conversations will help authorities know what happened from day one. 

Remove shared images

For explicit images that were shared, you can take steps to get them removed:

• For minors: TakeItDown.ncmec.org creates a digital fingerprint of the image, so platforms can block or delete it.
• For adults: StopNCII.org offers similar support.

Stop payment on any money sent

If any payments were made, immediately contact the app used (like Venmo, Cash App, etc.) or your bank to report the fraud and request a reversal.

Reporting the Crime

There’s a lot of online discussion around whether to report sextortion, but based on expert guidance, reporting is strongly recommended. It may help stop the criminal, prevent others from being hurt, and get your child additional support.

Your local police department

First, contact your local police department and file a detailed report documenting the sextortion along with all of the evidence you’ve saved and gathered.

NCMEC’s Cyber TipLine

NCMEC’s CyberTipline is the U.S’s centralized reporting system for the online exploitation of children. You can report your kid’s sextortion issue here.

FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3)

This is the quickest way to contact the FBI with regards to sextortion.

Cybertip — for minors in Canada

Cybertip is Canada’s national tipline for reporting the online sexual exploitation of children, and is a trusted resource for Canadian citizens wishing to report sextortion.

How Parents Can Support Kids After Sextortion

Your child may be experiencing a range of emotions, from guilt and shame to anger and sadness. Here’s how to help support them in their recovery:

• Stay calm and open. Even if you’re upset, try to remain calm when talking to your child. They need you to be a safe place for them right now.
• Keep communication open. Let them know you’re always there to talk, listen, or just sit quietly together. Healing doesn’t happen overnight.
• Avoid punishments. Try not to take away all devices as a consequence because this can add to their shame and fear. Instead, focus on guiding them to use technology more safely going forward.
• Consider therapy. A licensed counselor, especially one who works with teens, can help your child process what happened and start healing emotionally.

Being Proactive Going Forward

Being proactive about your kids’s online safety is one of the important things you can do to help protect them in the future. Bark scans online activities — including the texts and photos they send along with social media posting and commenting — for possible signs of sextortion along with other serious issues like suicidal ideation and bullying. 

If we find something concerning, you’ll get an alert so you can check in and make sure everything’s okay. In many cases of sextortion, parents probably had no clue their child was sexting at all, let alone with someone aggressive who is threatening them. Bark sends alerts whenever it detects a saved explicit image, as well as when one is sent or received, keeping you in the know when it comes to what’s happening in your child’s digital world.

Check out our products page to learn more about the different devices we offer that can help you prevent sextortion before it starts.

Additional Bark Resources

• 5 Questions with Mike Arterburn About Sextortion, Kids, and Online Safety
• What to Do If Your Child Is the Victim of a Sextortion Scam
• State-by-State Sextortion Laws and How They Vary 

Other Sextortion Help for Families

Michael Arterburn, aka Killer Bee Tactical, a retired police officer with over 20+ years of experience in internet crimes against children.

Paul Raffile, an intelligence professional working to disrupt global cybercrime & human exploitation, posts on LinkedIn about sextortion with information, stats, resources, tips, and more.